<3...The Five Love Languages...<3

I know I have told a few people about this book, but the Five Love Languages for Singles by Gary Chapman is now one of my favorite books. I have never in my life learned so much about myself and others all at the same time.

You may wonder why I even bought the book, or became interested in it in the 1st place. Well, I was having a good conversation with a certain special someone, and he cared to say he wasn't sure he really knew how to love someone, at least in the ways they deserve to be loved, respected & cared for. It took a lot for him to say that, but for him to say it, has meant so much. I think these days we all are trying to make ourselves out to understand it all, and then when we have a hard time, we feel like we can't talk to anyone about it, because we should have all the answers. But the truth is, we don't have all the answers - and Christ made us to be relational beings. Without other people around us, we wouldn't be complete. Sure, some of us enjoy less people, some more, but if you narrow it down - there are always people you have in your life that you must depend on, or you would be incomplete. In our conversation, I asked if he had ever read the 5 Love Languages. Problem is, I said it like I knew all about it, when in fact, I'd only ever heard a sermon on it - and that was my freshman year of college, and that was by Matt Brown. At that time, thru the sermon, I understood that my Love Language was Physical Touch. About a year ago, I did an online assessment and it said Acts of Service. But, back to the conversation. He said no he hadn't, just had heard it mentioned here and there in sermons, and from the FOCUS class offered at our university. I said, same here...and then we let that go.

The next day I continued to think of our conversation (I'm a thinker, if you didn't know that, I soak up everything, and consider it all time & time again). I realized that I wanted to read this book, because I really knew nothing about the 5 Love Languages. I started looking online at Border's, Barne's & Noble, and then Berean. I realized that there are a ton of 5 Love Languages, one for married couples, one for singles, one for children, and the list goes on. I called the book stores & they only had one copy. Luckily, Berean had quite a few. I didn't want to buy the book only for him, because I wanted to figure things out too. Do I really know how to love people?? So, I bought the book and read it in about 2 days.

The 5 Love Languages are: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, & Physical Touch. From reading the book & doing the assessment included, I learned that my Love Language is Quality Time, with Gifts in a close 2nd. The more I think upon these 2 things, I see how apparent they are in my life. I LOVE to spend time with people. Whether it's just sitting and watching a movie, TV, etc. I love being in the presence of those who are close to me. It makes me feel loved to be able to spend time. The other is gifts. No, not big, expensive gifts (though I don't turn those away, hahaha) but the small things, the inbetween things, these are what mean most to me. Thinking about it right now, there are little things in my car that I've received over the years, and I keep them because they remind me of people in my life. If you know me, you know I'm a PEOPLE PERSON! I would go crazy if I didn't have a constant flow of people in my life. In my car, I have a little paper mache flower made by Callista Grace (she made it at preschool, and I picked her up the day she made it, so she wanted me to have it), I have a little mirror sticker on my hazard light button from Debbie Long (given to me when we were making crafts for the Women's Retreat last year), I have mardi gras beads (which were from Beth on my 20th bday, no matter what the cop wanted to believe!!!), I have the teddy bear on my shifter (from The Boys when The Girls did a v-day dinner with all the friends...it was on the vase of flowers, I let them keep the flowers, I have the bear), I have a ring on a string (from Jenna's bachelorette weekend) and I think that's all for in my car. In my room & in the house, there are umpteen things that I have received from people, and everytime I see the gifts, I'm reminded of my time with them.

When you learn someone else's love language, you learn to love them the way that makes them feel loved. It's easy to do things that we like to have done for us, but if we really want people to be valued and loved by us, we need to love them in ways that make them feel special. Read the book, you'll learn a lot - and for sure, your relationships (of all kinds, not just dating ones) will be improved.

The certain special someone shared his with me last night, and it wasn't one that I expected for him. But the more and more I thought about it, it's exactly him. Lucky for me, we have the same love language, so now I know what will mean most :o) His 2nd love language, now that I'll have to work on!

Friendships, relationships, family, etc. relational things take work, and I think we've gotten too comfortable doing just what we like to do. It's time to step out & fulfill 1 Corinthians 16:14,

"Let all you do be done in love."

That was then, this is now...

It sure has been some time since I've posted. In between that last post and now, I have had some eventful things happen.

From June 8-28th, I was gone to Romania for my ISP trip with our amazing team: Roxi & I, Ashley, Alyssa, Michelle, Rebeca, Shareen, Dave, Lucas & Mat. When we were there, we got to work at an orphanage, work at a camp that the orphans get to go to during the summer, and worked with people in local villages. It truly was a blessing to be His hands & feet. Many people have asked what the most significant part of my trip was, and I would say, it was the things that Christ opened my eyes to. We read a book, Celebration of the Disciplines, and in the first 2 chapters, I knew I was being called to change. One specific part stuck with me, and has been a challenge to uphold, but that is to not make expectations for others to withold if I'm not willing to uphold them myself. Tough, but necessary lesson to learn. Also, my love and passion to serve children was made clear. I definitely have a gift with children, and can't wait to have some of my own someday (plenty of days from now though!!!) The last 7 days there, I was sick. When I came home, I spent the 1st night at Urgent Care, was put on 3 antibiotics, and have been feeling good now (this is day 5 of feeling GREAT!!!) Needless to say, coming home was nice, but my heart is still there.

Since then, I've gone back to work, and have spent time with family & friends. I got to go to Forest Falls w/ Roxi & Hillary, had a great time. I had some pretty crazy falls, but I guess that's expected when Jeni does anything - it always happens to me. I fell 3 times: #1, I was climbing a big boulder, as soon as I pushed off my foot slipped and I couldn't grip the rock because it was wet from the Falls, so Hillary SAVED my life, she pulled me up, and I just layed on the rock for a couple minutes, thankful to be alive. #2, we were coming down (cuz we hiked all the way up!) and I slipped, and my butt went into the waterfall, so I looked like I peed. #3, we were on the flat part at the end of the trail, and I tried to step OVER a rock, but my right foot wasn't set, and I came down only to FACE PLANT into the rock. Roxi got a picture, I'll have to post it soon. My scab is going away now :o)

And now, I'm just enjoying life. Trying to figure out what's ahead, 5 months from now, I'll be graduating college. Real life here I come :o)

Well, I need to get some sleep, but there are definitely some things on my mind/heart that I will post about soon: Love Languages, The Past (and Present), Risks...I will post on those soon!

What's the answer to everything?

TIME! Now, I'm not sure if I agree with this yet or not, so I'm gonna think about it - and I'll post again with my full thoughts on it.

Pictures That I Promised

I didn't take any pictures of all of the things that filled the living room once I got home, but I took pictures of some of my stuff packed before I left the school. I didn't know I had so much, I think I came home with more than what I had in my room before I ever moved to school. Guess it's just what happens. And no, I still haven't unpacked everything! I think my mom will be fed up soon - my bags are still in the living room.

Nick names

Where did nicknames come from? That, I do not have the answer to. But I've been thinking lately - when I'm bored in traffic on my way home from work - about the nicknames we come up with, or the ones others come up with for us. It's rather interesting if you think about them long enough.

Some that I have for others are:
Bestie/Miss/Melisha (Melissa)
FAB 4 (Beck, Jenn, Brit & Me)
Aunt Chicken Legs (Aunt Joyce)
Butt face/Jerk face (only she knows...)
Outlet (Mike)
Blove (Beth)
Hannah-bear (Hannah)
Courtknee (Courtney)
Sister (Amanda)
My Michelle/Meesh (Michelle L.)
Shello (Michelle M.)
Peej (Jenni)
Jena the Jew (Jena)
Little B (Shannon)
MoPo (Marissa)
Punkin (Jadyn Rose)
Fiance (Missy)
New BFF (Ashley)
PCP (can't go into details)
Mr. Gorgeous (code name)
Mr. Delicious (code name)
Oe-Oe-O (code name)
My Bachelor (Matt)
Speef/Spouse (Brit)
Beckysita (Becky)

Those are just some...I'm sure there are others, but at 12:49 am, I can't think of too many.

Some that people use for me:
Bestie (Melissa)
Jen (Mom & Debbie)
Jennay (Forrest Gump style)
Pumpkin (Bradley)
Jeni Lee (Family)
J Dogg (Becky & Robdogg)
Jenifur (Angie only!)
Jenilove (Lindy Nachelle)
Sweetie (Jimmy, I hate it if anyone else says it though...)
Lotsa B (Shannon)
Jeetie (Dad)
Big Foot (Dad)
JeniMick (Marissa)
Fiance (Missy)
New BFF (Ashley)

That's all I have on nicknames. If someone knows the history of where "nicknames" came from, you let me know. And I'm sorry if I have a nickname for you and didn't list it here. Like I said, it's almost 1 am, and I'm not the brightest bulb in the box right now.

For EVERY Female

As annoying as Facebook Bumper Stickers may be, some of them have some great QUALITY things to say... here are my favs!!!

"If he's dumb enough to walk away, then be smart enough to let him go."

"Sometimes you have to test someone not because you don't trust them, but to see how much they'll sacrifice for you. And sometimes you have to let them go not because you suddenly stopped caring for them, but to see if they care enough to come back."

"Eventually one of two things will happen. He'll finally realize that you're worth it or you'll finally realize that he isn't."

"Sometimes it's best to forget how you feel & remember what you DESERVE"

Thinking...Friendships

I have been thinking a lot lately, and a lot of those thoughts have turned to the many friendships/relationships I have in my life. The Lord truly has blessed me with those I am able to call my friends. We have many acquaintances, and that has always been, but the very close friends for most are few and far between.

I was able to go to the Cal Baptist graduation commencement ceremony today, and as I looked at the long line of graduates, I began to cry. Why? What in the world is wrong with me? #1, Jenna Fuller is in this line, and she's one of my good friends. She's getting married June 20th, and I'll be gone to Romania, and today she graduated. No more Jenna at CBU. I'm not selfish, it's just that life is definitely going to be different. The FAB 4 (Me, Britt, Becky & Jenna) have grown so close this year, and not having Jenna around will be different. Becky will be commuting, and Britt and I will be living together, of course we'll all still hang out, but adjustments have to be made.

I guess this is really the way I'm feeling - today made me think about high school graduation all over again. We all vowed to be best friends forever, and frankly, I'm not really good friends with any of those people anymore. Partly because our paths went completely different directions, but mainly because we didn't put in the efforts to keep a friendship strong. Many people say you go to college to find your true friends and your bridesmaids (which is sooooo true, now I just need the husband, hahaha). But, how do I know that life after college will be different than life after highschool? Hugh Hewitt spoke at the ceremony today, and said something that I've really been thinking about. He reminded everyone of this, you will never be more surrounded by your loved ones than at your graduations, your wedding day, and at your funeral. Why is this so? Is it because we all get wrapped up in our own lives, that we don't make time for those dearest to us to be a part?

I'm saying these things to make myself not take the wonderful friendships and relationships that I have for granted. Too often we take advantage of what's in front of us, and then we don't appreciate it as we ought to. To all of my friends, I am thankful you are in my life, and I want to keep it that way. However, as we grow up, and possibly grow apart, we must remember this journey of life (friendships definitely included) is a 2 way street and takes efforts by both parties.

Now let's make life a party :o)