You may wonder why I even bought the book, or became interested in it in the 1st place. Well, I was having a good conversation with a certain special someone, and he cared to say he wasn't sure he really knew how to love someone, at least in the ways they deserve to be loved, respected & cared for. It took a lot for him to say that, but for him to say it, has meant so much. I think these days we all are trying to make ourselves out to understand it all, and then when we have a hard time, we feel like we can't talk to anyone about it, because we should have all the answers. But the truth is, we don't have all the answers - and Christ made us to be relational beings. Without other people around us, we wouldn't be complete. Sure, some of us enjoy less people, some more, but if you narrow it down - there are always people you have in your life that you must depend on, or you would be incomplete. In our conversation, I asked if he had ever read the 5 Love Languages. Problem is, I said it like I knew all about it, when in fact, I'd only ever heard a sermon on it - and that was my freshman year of college, and that was by Matt Brown. At that time, thru the sermon, I understood that my Love Language was Physical Touch. About a year ago, I did an online assessment and it said Acts of Service. But, back to the conversation. He said no he hadn't, just had heard it mentioned here and there in sermons, and from the FOCUS class offered at our university. I said, same here...and then we let that go.
The next day I continued to think of our conversation (I'm a thinker, if you didn't know that, I soak up everything, and consider it all time & time again). I realized that I wanted to read this book, because I really knew nothing about the 5 Love Languages. I started looking online at Border's, Barne's & Noble, and then Berean. I realized that there are a ton of 5 Love Languages, one for married couples, one for singles, one for children, and the list goes on. I called the book stores & they only had one copy. Luckily, Berean had quite a few. I didn't want to buy the book only for him, because I wanted to figure things out too. Do I really know how to love people?? So, I bought the book and read it in about 2 days.
The 5 Love Languages are: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, & Physical Touch. From reading the book & doing the assessment included, I learned that my Love Language is Quality Time, with Gifts in a close 2nd. The more I think upon these 2 things, I see how apparent they are in my life. I LOVE to spend time with people. Whether it's just sitting and watching a movie, TV, etc. I love being in the presence of those who are close to me. It makes me feel loved to be able to spend time. The other is gifts. No, not big, expensive gifts (though I don't turn those away, hahaha) but the small things, the inbetween things, these are what mean most to me. Thinking about it right now, there are little things in my car that I've received over the years, and I keep them because they remind me of people in my life. If you know me, you know I'm a PEOPLE PERSON! I would go crazy if I didn't have a constant flow of people in my life. In my car, I have a little paper mache flower made by Callista Grace (she made it at preschool, and I picked her up the day she made it, so she wanted me to have it), I have a little mirror sticker on my hazard light button from Debbie Long (given to me when we were making crafts for the Women's Retreat last year), I have mardi gras beads (which were from Beth on my 20th bday, no matter what the cop wanted to believe!!!), I have the teddy bear on my shifter (from The Boys when The Girls did a v-day dinner with all the friends...it was on the vase of flowers, I let them keep the flowers, I have the bear), I have a ring on a string (from Jenna's bachelorette weekend) and I think that's all for in my car. In my room & in the house, there are umpteen things that I have received from people, and everytime I see the gifts, I'm reminded of my time with them.
When you learn someone else's love language, you learn to love them the way that makes them feel loved. It's easy to do things that we like to have done for us, but if we really want people to be valued and loved by us, we need to love them in ways that make them feel special. Read the book, you'll learn a lot - and for sure, your relationships (of all kinds, not just dating ones) will be improved.
The certain special someone shared his with me last night, and it wasn't one that I expected for him. But the more and more I thought about it, it's exactly him. Lucky for me, we have the same love language, so now I know what will mean most :o) His 2nd love language, now that I'll have to work on!
Friendships, relationships, family, etc. relational things take work, and I think we've gotten too comfortable doing just what we like to do. It's time to step out & fulfill 1 Corinthians 16:14,
Friendships, relationships, family, etc. relational things take work, and I think we've gotten too comfortable doing just what we like to do. It's time to step out & fulfill 1 Corinthians 16:14,
"Let all you do be done in love."
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