To Do or Not to Do

This is a product of my no longer being a college student. If I had to write a persuasive essay, it would go something like this! Sometimes I really miss school!!! I miss having my outlets of writing!

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think it's such a bad idea! It's funny how often this topic of conversation comes up, and it's very interesting to hear the different sides that people present. I'm pretty open, and am typically an out of the box thinker. I don't just agree with people because it's the "expected" thing, I tend to voice my opinion & form my own beliefs. I think it's definitely hard sometimes to stand behind your own beliefs, especially when they're contrary to popular demand - particularly with those closest to you, but then what would this world be like if we all just simply had the same thoughts & belief system? It'd be pretty dull if you ask me.

So, my thoughts on online dating.... 1st, I think the term "online dating" needs to be defined. I guess it could be interpreted in many ways, but here is what I deem the meaning to be, a social network, providing just an additional avenue of how you could potentially meet someone. I'm not sure "online dating" is very accurate either. Because you don't date online, unless you only intend to converse with someone online, never having the potential to meet them & become friends. If that's the case, then online dating is accurate, though that's now how I'd interpret it. Dating is an actual act, going out, getting to know someone - how you'd ever do that online, I'm not sure. Anyone can type something out about themselves, making them out to be whoever they wish, but when you interact with them, seeing their personality come to life, etc. you can make a judgement on whether the individual has portrayed themselves properly or not.

Just as you meet someone at a restaurant, waiting in a line somewhere, at a theme park, at a bar, at a park, through a friend, etc. you have the same chances of meeting someone online. Sure, there are crazies, and creepos out there, but who's to say that the person you meet in line at the grocery store doesn't have the potential to be just as crazy, if not worse, than someone you'd meet online. Bottom line, there are weirdos and creepos everywhere, we'll never steer clear from them. Whenever or however you meet someone, it should be done w/ caution & discernment, because you NEVER know what you're getting yourself into. Just as someone can send you an email stating facts about themselves, a person telling you face to face could easily be lying to you the same way.

I think we all know the potential dangers of online dating...you hear the stories on the news, you get the horrific emails, etc. If you're going into something blindly, you need to have your guard up, and be prepared in any given situation. I'm going to focus on the positives, because I think we all get in this rut of negativity, and it's time for a change.

Watch a TV show, and you're bound to see an eHarmony commercial, a Match.com commercial, or something of the sort. Why are these so popular? Is it because they're making bank? Well, they are, because people pay to use their services, but it's popular because people have found it to work. Technology has been so advanced over the past 2 decades, and especially in my generation, our focus has been on virtual communication. We were the generation that used to hang out in chat rooms, spend hours on end on AIM, email our friends/family whenever the opportunity presented itself, etc. We have known online communication, so of course internet dating seems like a valid option.

If I were to label a perk of online dating, it would have to be that you get to bypass the awkward stages of getting to know someone. Sites usually have profiles, where you can post pictures of yourself, your basic information, answer typical questions, and then you would generally have an area where you can say anything else, & mainly state what you're looking for in someone. One of the best parts, is if you're completely honest in stating what you want, if someone reads your profile & they know they don't fit to what you're looking for - you don't have to bother talking to them. I guess you could more or less say that profiles are like pouring flour into a sifter & sifting out the parts you don't want. You're not wasting anyones time, and that's a plus. You're not wasting your heart, emotions & efforts to try and impress anyone either. They either like what they see, and you can communicate, or you don't. Sounds good to me!

If they like what they see, and you like what you see, you can likely pursue further communication. It is often recommended to not give out personal information, which is obviously smart, for reasons we all should know. If communication is continued & you feel like your values match & you would be interested in getting to know one another further (either just as friends, or in pursuit of a potential relationship), an exchange of #s would be a good start. Then you just progress as if you'd just met anyone. You have to spend time together in order to get to know someone, but I would highly recommend not going alone for the initial meet. Better to be safe than sorry, right!?! If you hang out, in due time you'll be able to see if their character reflects who you thought them to be, etc. If you're in the right state of mind, and aren't just desperate to be with someone, I don't see online dating as being all that bad. Your motives should be pure (as in seeking out ANY relationship), and if you have certain expectations & standards for a relationship, don't ever lose sight of those!!! You should always seek someone who not only shares the same values/morals as you, though someone who helps you & encourages you to keep those values/morals in tact.

Here's to you & whichever avenue you choose to take in order to meet new people. Maybe it's one or the other, or maybe it's both. I wish you good luck & discernment in making wise decisions, in whatever it may be!