I went to Sandals tonight, as I’ve been going with Greg & Tami Cash for the past couple weeks. It has been awesome. Tonight was about confessing one to another, and praying for each other. I have been wanting a mentor in my life, and I think that time is finally here – time to be serious about seeking and making time for something of the sort to be an active part of my life. For too long now I’ve been trying to do it Jeni’s way, and that obviously isn’t working. Well, it’s been sufficient, but not enough…because it’s NEVER enough when we try to do something on our own – we were created to rely on Him. I definitely have not been relying on Him for everything. He deserves so much more for me, and in accountability and confession, I hope to bring Him more.
Something that stuck out particularly to me was when (1) Pastor Neil posed the question/thought: “Are you choosing fake community over real intimacy?” Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. By my decisions to come, I’ll be deciding this for myself. Do I simply like someone because it’s appealing to have attention, or do I genuinely like them? Is it something I’m about because I like the thought of it, or because I like the reality of it? Do I like it because others notice it and are willing to invest time in me because of it? All of these things crossed my mind. I may truly like this person, or I may be after it for the big picture. I don’t know. Truly time will tell, but this calls on a true observation of my heart, actions, and life as a whole. If I don’t do this now – I may cause hurt for myself, and potentially hurt for another. We’ll see where things go. I truly think God used the message tonight to open my eyes to the realities of me not giving Him the least bit of what He requires of me. It’s time for action…no doubt.
Another sermon point that is weighing on me is to “start acting in love, so as NOT to be selfish!” When we truly love others (like 1 Corinthians 16:14 – “Let all you do be done in love.”) we are putting our own needs aside in order to put others as more valuable and important. When we do this, we are eliminating the chances of being selfish. After doing the love languages test and reading the book, the ways I express my love and receive love from others is by Quality Time & Gifts. I have often felt that in gift giving, people think I’m trying to win them over (for FOCUS people, yes I have Woo!) but it’s not as to do it in a negative way. I love to do small things to remind people that they are thought of and that they are special to me. I also love to do things to encourage people…it’s part of how He wired me I suppose. (Actually, I know…I don’t suppose that.)
Well, this is my piece of mind for now. More to come sometime.
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2 comments:
Hi sweet one. How is college? And how was your Romania trip. I quit getting email updates after you got back, what's with that! I love hearing about what you are doing, even if you are in Riverside going to college. I love knowing what is going on. We love you Jeni. The boys are great, Whitney had a battle with Mono, but is much better now. Love you,
Debbie, Kyle and Whitney Booth
i understand completely. fake community is prettier and less vulnerable. when you choose the ugly though, you are making the choice to live the type of community God intended for us. it might be ugly, but so worth it. get that mentor, fight for that naked community where you show people who you really are behind the fake. seek this spiritual community and don't let go once you find it. thanks for your thoughts my dear, you are not alone.
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