I went to Sandals tonight, as I’ve been going with Greg & Tami Cash for the past couple weeks. It has been awesome. Tonight was about confessing one to another, and praying for each other. I have been wanting a mentor in my life, and I think that time is finally here – time to be serious about seeking and making time for something of the sort to be an active part of my life. For too long now I’ve been trying to do it Jeni’s way, and that obviously isn’t working. Well, it’s been sufficient, but not enough…because it’s NEVER enough when we try to do something on our own – we were created to rely on Him. I definitely have not been relying on Him for everything. He deserves so much more for me, and in accountability and confession, I hope to bring Him more.
Something that stuck out particularly to me was when (1) Pastor Neil posed the question/thought: “Are you choosing fake community over real intimacy?” Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. By my decisions to come, I’ll be deciding this for myself. Do I simply like someone because it’s appealing to have attention, or do I genuinely like them? Is it something I’m about because I like the thought of it, or because I like the reality of it? Do I like it because others notice it and are willing to invest time in me because of it? All of these things crossed my mind. I may truly like this person, or I may be after it for the big picture. I don’t know. Truly time will tell, but this calls on a true observation of my heart, actions, and life as a whole. If I don’t do this now – I may cause hurt for myself, and potentially hurt for another. We’ll see where things go. I truly think God used the message tonight to open my eyes to the realities of me not giving Him the least bit of what He requires of me. It’s time for action…no doubt.
Another sermon point that is weighing on me is to “start acting in love, so as NOT to be selfish!” When we truly love others (like 1 Corinthians 16:14 – “Let all you do be done in love.”) we are putting our own needs aside in order to put others as more valuable and important. When we do this, we are eliminating the chances of being selfish. After doing the love languages test and reading the book, the ways I express my love and receive love from others is by Quality Time & Gifts. I have often felt that in gift giving, people think I’m trying to win them over (for FOCUS people, yes I have Woo!) but it’s not as to do it in a negative way. I love to do small things to remind people that they are thought of and that they are special to me. I also love to do things to encourage people…it’s part of how He wired me I suppose. (Actually, I know…I don’t suppose that.)
Well, this is my piece of mind for now. More to come sometime.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Contentment
Contentment...what is contentment? According to dictionary.com, contentment is "happiness with one's situation in life"
I can truly say that where I am right now, is at a place of content. I have been doing much thinking lately, and it has been driving me nuts, but thinking is good. If we don't think about things - how do we really know how we feel? We may think we know - but the more thought we give to something, we see whether we really do know, or if we simply need to give it more thought...thus, we're presented with an ever present cycle of "thinking"
You may wonder what in life is making me content. If you are...continue to read, if not, disregard and go read someone else's blog :o)
#1, I am content because of Christ. I would not be content if I did not have a loving, forgiving, and gracious Father, who is my Savior!! To know that I am loved unconditionally by Him, no matter what I look like, no matter what I think, say, or do - if I come to Him with a repentant heart and a desire to serve Him, He welcomes me with open arms - there is not much more contentment than that.
#2, I am content because in 12 days I get to move into a house (which we're making a home) with 5 friends: Beth Crowell, Britt Ingold, Nancy Barrales, Candy Teague & Kendra Faulkner. What an exciting time. I truly cannot wait to live with these women, ahhhh WAHOOOOOOO! Pictures of our home will definitely be posted...probably after orientation, after we get all settled in - so expect pictures sometime in beg. of September.
#3, I am content because I got to be open with a friend, and they were open in return. You know when you just wonder something for so long, but don't know how to ask it, because you don't want things to be awkward, and you don't want them to take it the wrong way - well I was feeling just that, for about 2 months now. But didn't know how to bring it up. Finally, I got bold enough, and just asked. I know I didn't ask what I wanted to know in the right manner, but we were able to talk about it a little more later, and things are fine. No need to think there will be awkwardness.
#4 (really #3 cont'd), I am content, because I don't feel a need to want to like someone, or to be liked in return. This is weird, and I'm not even sure if my words are portraying my feelings properly...but I will try my best. If you know you like someone, why do you search somewhere else to see if you can find something better? Usually I've always been the type to keep the open mind, but for some reason, my mind and heart keep coming back to one person. Could it be that I really really really like this person? I would say YES!!! I have never liked anyone like I like him, and I don't know what the difference is. Maybe it's different because I'm more mature now - I dunno, my last relationship was in uhhh, June 2005 (so over 3 years ago). But, when you like someone, it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship. Of course, in time, and in development of the friendship/relationship, you may see that you're better as friends - or that you can potentially be together...but you can't limit your friendship in the present, you must just continue to develop the friendship you have, and see where God leads it. This is exactly where the "in time" and "we'll see" come into the picture. Out of love & respect for one another though, be honest with one another, and see where things go. If you're like me, and you know in your heart of hearts that you don't want to pursue a relationship with anyone else right now, stick to that - but have people around you that can see the situation as a whole, to make sure you're not just sitting around, waiting for their time only, where you're a convenient person to have around - that's not what friendships or relationships are about - DON'T SETTLE, and certainly don't be used. With that said, I'm content with where I'm at in the friendship/relationship stage of life...and am looking to stay where I'm at.
#5, I am content because I will graduate December 19, 2008!!! Wahoo. Though if you ask me in a couple months, I probably won't be so content, as I will have to be looking for a full time job. But, I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
#6, I am content because I figured out that I've been best friends with Melissa for nearly 10 years! 2 weeks from now, we're going on a trip to the very 1st place we ever went as friends - how exciting. I guess you could say we'll celebrate our 10 year anniversary of being friends :o)
#7, I am content because I just got all of this off of my mind...and I hope it made sense!!!
If you've managed to make it to this point - congratulations, sorry for the different ways I went, but that's just how my mind works!!!
I can truly say that where I am right now, is at a place of content. I have been doing much thinking lately, and it has been driving me nuts, but thinking is good. If we don't think about things - how do we really know how we feel? We may think we know - but the more thought we give to something, we see whether we really do know, or if we simply need to give it more thought...thus, we're presented with an ever present cycle of "thinking"
You may wonder what in life is making me content. If you are...continue to read, if not, disregard and go read someone else's blog :o)
#1, I am content because of Christ. I would not be content if I did not have a loving, forgiving, and gracious Father, who is my Savior!! To know that I am loved unconditionally by Him, no matter what I look like, no matter what I think, say, or do - if I come to Him with a repentant heart and a desire to serve Him, He welcomes me with open arms - there is not much more contentment than that.
#2, I am content because in 12 days I get to move into a house (which we're making a home) with 5 friends: Beth Crowell, Britt Ingold, Nancy Barrales, Candy Teague & Kendra Faulkner. What an exciting time. I truly cannot wait to live with these women, ahhhh WAHOOOOOOO! Pictures of our home will definitely be posted...probably after orientation, after we get all settled in - so expect pictures sometime in beg. of September.
#3, I am content because I got to be open with a friend, and they were open in return. You know when you just wonder something for so long, but don't know how to ask it, because you don't want things to be awkward, and you don't want them to take it the wrong way - well I was feeling just that, for about 2 months now. But didn't know how to bring it up. Finally, I got bold enough, and just asked. I know I didn't ask what I wanted to know in the right manner, but we were able to talk about it a little more later, and things are fine. No need to think there will be awkwardness.
#4 (really #3 cont'd), I am content, because I don't feel a need to want to like someone, or to be liked in return. This is weird, and I'm not even sure if my words are portraying my feelings properly...but I will try my best. If you know you like someone, why do you search somewhere else to see if you can find something better? Usually I've always been the type to keep the open mind, but for some reason, my mind and heart keep coming back to one person. Could it be that I really really really like this person? I would say YES!!! I have never liked anyone like I like him, and I don't know what the difference is. Maybe it's different because I'm more mature now - I dunno, my last relationship was in uhhh, June 2005 (so over 3 years ago). But, when you like someone, it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship. Of course, in time, and in development of the friendship/relationship, you may see that you're better as friends - or that you can potentially be together...but you can't limit your friendship in the present, you must just continue to develop the friendship you have, and see where God leads it. This is exactly where the "in time" and "we'll see" come into the picture. Out of love & respect for one another though, be honest with one another, and see where things go. If you're like me, and you know in your heart of hearts that you don't want to pursue a relationship with anyone else right now, stick to that - but have people around you that can see the situation as a whole, to make sure you're not just sitting around, waiting for their time only, where you're a convenient person to have around - that's not what friendships or relationships are about - DON'T SETTLE, and certainly don't be used. With that said, I'm content with where I'm at in the friendship/relationship stage of life...and am looking to stay where I'm at.
#5, I am content because I will graduate December 19, 2008!!! Wahoo. Though if you ask me in a couple months, I probably won't be so content, as I will have to be looking for a full time job. But, I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
#6, I am content because I figured out that I've been best friends with Melissa for nearly 10 years! 2 weeks from now, we're going on a trip to the very 1st place we ever went as friends - how exciting. I guess you could say we'll celebrate our 10 year anniversary of being friends :o)
#7, I am content because I just got all of this off of my mind...and I hope it made sense!!!
If you've managed to make it to this point - congratulations, sorry for the different ways I went, but that's just how my mind works!!!
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